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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24016579">Goodbye</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glitteredwithstars/pseuds/Glitteredwithstars'>Glitteredwithstars</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>High School Musical: The Musical: The Series (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/M, Love, Sad, You might hate Ricky, adult tones, they all use each other, toxic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 00:01:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,297</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24016579</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glitteredwithstars/pseuds/Glitteredwithstars</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ricky's and Gina are best friends. Things get complicated when one summer while He and Nini are split they get together. Relationships are brought to light and lead to tough endings.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ricky Bowen/Gina Porter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Goodbye</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Ricky and Gina are best friends. Things change when one summer they hook up while he and Nini are not together. These relationships are brought to the forefront and lead to the truth being revealed.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ricky loves two girls, he’s just not sure it’s in the same way. </p><p>Ricky thinks the aspects he likes the most about himself are the one’s he sees in NIni: his determination, the way he wanted the best for everyone, his desire to be seen as a good guy. Nini had this way of bringing out the person he wanted to be and what he thought his life should become. He never had the persistent feeling of fiery shame, those demons nipping at his feet just waiting to catch up with him. With Gina she had a way of reeling him in, getting him drunk off way she carried herself, wild and free. Casually falling through life like it was hers to take from when she needed. She let him feel okay with not having somewhere to belong, maybe never having that sense that he was right where he was supposed to be. No, Ricky thinks, he was never damaged like her, Gina just made him feel like he was. </p><p> </p><p>He loves Nini in a way that was always there, like how the ocean was always moving and the sun would always rise again in the morning. Ricky remembers not being able to say those words to her so long ago because he hadn’t even had to think about it, it was like that feeling was apart of him the day he saw her kind eyes and gapped front teeth that first time in kindergarten. So when he was forced to put a name to it he couldn’t and freaked the fuck out, was scared it would change everything. </p><p>Gina had “I love you” pouring out of his mouth the moment he knew. The shock on her face mirroring his, Ricky had dived head first into concrete without even realizing that it was happening. Everything with her was like looking at the world with fresh eyes, it was new and exciting , had butterflies swarming around his stomach- and head. Ricky was scared of Gina and the way she made him live life without hesitation, because if he could say I love you like it was as thoughtless as blinking, then what did it mean when he couldn’t with Nini. </p><p>He rolls out of bed, and runs his feet through the soft fibers of his rug. Ricky sits at the edge of his bed and turns to look at Nini, she’s asleep and her lips are slightly open. He has this foreign feeling wash over him, hitting his gut in waves. Almost like Ricky was outside of his body, Nini wasn’t his girlfriend and he wasn’t the person that had slept with her, side flushed to hers for the past two years- like he was watching a video about what his life could have been. </p><p>His phone is on the floor, he grabs it and unplugs the device from the charge</p><p>It’s 5 am and Ricky is making his way to the kitchen, needing a cup of coffee. It’s kinda pathetic because he’s 20 years old and the only way for him to get through the day is caffeine. </p><p>There’s a soft glow coming from the doorway that lights up the hallway, he walks in and finds Gina. She’s sitting on the counter and pouring two cups of coffee. Ricky walks in and she doesn’t even glance his way, just pushes the cup of coffee in his direction. </p><p>“Thanks’, he takes a seat at the kitchen table and lets the coffee sit for a minute, taking in the sweet scent. </p><p>Gina grabs her coffee and takes a sip, she’s slowly eyeing him, like she wants to ask him a question. </p><p>“I had a hard time sleeping. Kinda got the feeling you couldn’t either.”</p><p>Ricky smiles into his coffee, likes the feeling of normalcy. Likes the way that Gina was close and near and so her. It made him feel calm. He needed calm. </p><p>She hops off the counter and takes the seat closest to him, continues to drink in silence. </p><p>This was their little routine, when the other couldn’t sleep, one would be there waiting. Either in the kitchen or the living room, and sometimes the balcony. He didn’t know when it started, he guesses after they had moved in together.</p><p>It was a little over a year ago, and Gina had shown him apartments she had found on one of those home apps, Zillow, he thinks. They had gone with the cheapest one, it was above an older laundromat and there was linoleum in the bathroom and kitchen but it was theirs and gave them a sense of independence.</p><p>Gina had a hard time sleeping too, Ricky thinks it was for the same reasons. </p><p>“Nini still asleep?”, she looks up from her coffee and waits for an answer.</p><p>“Yeah…should be, unless I woke her up. She sleeps like a rock though so probably.” He lets out a quiet laugh, thinks of the way he tells Nini she could sleep through about anything. </p><p>Gina smiles. Doesn’t say anything back. </p><p>Ricky clears his throat. “Oh, forgot to tell you but… Me and Nini are looking for our own place. Thought it was time to move in together.”</p><p>He says it casually, like it was an after thought, like he wasn’t mulling over the right way to tell her for the past month. </p><p>Suddenly there’s steam rising from his ears and he isn’t sure if it’s from the coffee or the impending feeling that he just set off a bomb. </p><p>“You forgot? Or you just didn’t want to.” There’s a bite there that Ricky was expecting- he just didn’t anticipate the way it made would make him feel. </p><p>Gina’s leaning over the sink, and is placing the mug in it. </p><p>Ricky knows the way this goes. They’ve been through it for as long as he can remember.<br/>October 2019</p><p>Ricky’s laughing at something Nini said, can’t really hear it over the music, but knows it was something funny by the way her mouth curled at the end of her words. </p><p>It’s the big Halloween party that was thrown every year and they’re both drunk off of fireball and wine coolers. </p><p>He sees a flash of big curls and instantly knows it’s Gina. Ricky thinks back to that summer, her hands running through his hair, tugging at it. Her lips roaming his neck, and stomach, marking it with her name. Sweat beads at his hairline and he can feel flashes of heat continuously pounding in his ears.</p><p>Ricky doesn’t really know how it happened. He had just had another break up with Nini and Gina was always there to pick up the pieces when it happened. </p><p>He remembers the way he leaned into her that night, when he told her what had happened. The way Gina had snaked her arms around Ricky and told him that she would always be there for him, that he wasn’t alone. </p><p>Ricky remembers the way he leaned forward and pressed his lips into hers. How his lips went numb with lust and he swears he had never had a kiss so full in his entire life. </p><p>He remembers the way it felt to wake up in her bed the morning after, sticky with sweat and her curls fanned across his chest. </p><p>Ricky remembers the all the days following, when they would stay in her room and order Korean from that one place that had been in town for the past eighty years, wrapped up in her sheets and each other. </p><p>He remembers the time they had snuck into his neighbors pool, stripped down and swam until the sun came up the next morning. </p><p>Ricky remembers when they had bet each other on who could keep their eyes open for the longest amount of time and when Gina had lost she had to shave her left eyebrow off- Ricky did it for her while she cried and he laughed. </p><p>He remembers how he would wake up almost every morning and feel her fingers tracing across his body, when he would finally peek an eye open and see her they way her was messed up from the night before and her skin shining in different tones of gold.</p><p>Ricky remembers the way it ended, when NIni had texted him. Told him she was sorry for cheating on him that night. That she would never do it again. </p><p>“I’m sorry”, was all Ricky could tell her. He didn’t know how else to say it. </p><p>Didn’t know how to leave her, because he didn’t know if he even wanted to. </p><p>Gina was his best friend and he knew that everything had changed and he couldn’t take it back and if he could he still wouldn’t. Maybe that was what he was sorry for.</p><p>He wishes he could forget the way she had looked in his eyes, knew what he was sorry for without even having to say it. </p><p>Gina told him to go and he did and Ricky has thought about it all the time for the past three months and he wishes his mind would just shut up,- he wishes he wouldn’t have.</p><p>Ricky turns to Nini and tells her he’s going outside to talk to Brandon, she smiles at him and plants a kiss on his cheek as a go ahead.</p><p>He makes a beeline for the kitchen and finds Gina in there rummaging through the fridge. </p><p>She’s dressed as a witch and Ricky wants to tell her how unoriginal she is. </p><p>“Is there something you wanted?”, she asks him. Gina hadn’t moved from her place behind the fridge door and Ricky looks around to see if there was anyone else in the kitchen. It’s just him and she swears there’s an eye on the back of her head.</p><p>She turns around with a Wine cooler in her hand, and shuts the fridge door. Gina sets the drink on the counter and makes her way over to Ricky, crowds into his space. </p><p>He leans into her and is pushing her up against the fridge had both hands placed above her head. </p><p>“I miss you.”, is all he says. He can smell the liquor on his breath and can feel hers mingling with his. Gina stands there, doesn’t move and watches Ricky. Her hands reach up to Ricky’s face and she traces along his lips, her thumbs tugs and pulls and sends tingles wherever she touches. </p><p>Gina moves her fingers through his hair and along his jaw and the bridge of his nose. And she tells Ricky she hates him. Juts forward. Kisses him hard.</p><p>Ricky can taste coconut and strawberries and the sharp taste of alcohol. It so her and he wants to drench himself in everything Gina. </p><p>She bites his bottom lip pulls on it and draws blood, then licks it away. Gina’s all animal and passion in the way Nini’s soft and angelic. </p><p>He thinks of Nini and pulls back, feels a rush of guilt that hits him like a fast moving train. Ricky stumbles, trips over his own feet, and tries to catch is balance. </p><p>This wasn’t the person he was, Ricky didn’t go around cheating on the girl he had dated since the sixth grade. He didn’t feel anything for anyone other than Nini, because if he did then who was he.</p><p>Gina stands there and watches him, he hates the feeling of her eyes and the way she looks at him like she knows everything he’s thinking. She doesn’t move when he tells her he’s sorry, doesn’t go after him when he leaves the room and goes to find Nini, and kiss her, Like he had something to prove.</p><p>The next day he sends a text to Gina and they meet up and he does things he swore he never would, and he feels the best he’s ever had in his life and he wants to cry.<br/>Ricky walks over to the sink and places an arm on either side of her, pushes into Gina and presses his lips to the back of her neck. </p><p>There’s a shift to her body and she’s turning around an pressing her forehead into his, looks at the ground. He can feel the shift coming, waiting for her to push him away and tell him to go fuck himself.</p><p>Gina presses her hands against him and does that exact thing, but her words are soft and quiet. </p><p>“Okay.”, is all she says. </p><p>And Ricky feel like dying. </p><p>His heart plummets to his ass and he wants to reach out and stop her when she leaves, but he won’t let himself do that, listens to the sound of her door closing and heads to bed. <br/>Ricky wakes up that same day to Nini and the sound of her starting the shower, he checks the clock and sees its two. <br/>He forces himself out of bed and walks into his bathroom and joins her in the shower, wanting to wash the morning off of his skin. </p><p>After their shower Nini leaves for class, and Ricky wishes for it. </p><p>Gina was in the living room and he was working up the courage to go in there. It wasn’t like this was the first time Ricky had fucked shit up, it just felt different. Usually Gina was sharp and biting, would tell Ricky off whenever things like this happened. </p><p>The tv’s softly playing and he can see Gina sitting on their couch- phone in hand. Ricky sits down next to her and leans his head on her shoulder. Wraps his arms around her torso and runs his hand up her back. </p><p>She sticks her feet under him, rubs at his legs because hers were always cold and he was always there to warm them up. </p><p>“When are you leaving?”, she breaks the silence. </p><p>Ricky doesn’t move, strains his eyes up to her and replies. “We’re thinking sometime in the next few weeks. Our lease is up on Friday, so I thought it was good timing.” </p><p>Gina nods and looks at the tv, pretends to be interested in what was happening. Runs her hands through is hair, and tugs at his ear. </p><p>Ricky feels close to Gina in a way that he had never anyone else. It wasn’t like this with other people, other people wouldn’t deal with what he had put her through. And he feels dirty and gross, like he was living two different lives and was dragging her along because  he was too pathetic to let her go. </p><p>But they way her hands feel when they’re roaming his body and the way her tongue runs over his when they kiss and the way she whispers his name, low and soft in his ear, these were all things that left him feeling whole. Ricky walked through life broken. </p><p>They spend the rest of the afternoon watching tv tangled up together and kiss each other until their faces go numb.</p><p>Three days later and Ricky’s over at Nini’s place, she’s cooking dinner and he’s standing there watching her. </p><p>Her knife swiftly cuts the carrots and chops them into perfectly sized pieces- if there was one thing that Ricky loved about Nini it was her cooking. The kitchen always seemed to be another home for her, like she was in her element. Nini’s making a chicken pot pie, his favorite.</p><p>It’s his birthday and Nini had planned the whole evening out, told him it was a surprise and to wear something revealing. He laughed at her and showed up in a t shirt and jeans. </p><p>“Thanks babe.”, he wraps his arm around her and kisses her cheek, takes a carrot and pops one in his mouth. She swats his hand away and sends him into the other room, she’ll call when it’s ready. </p><p>Ricky walks into her living room and sits in her egg chair that he always hated. It was ugly and big but comfortable as hell. </p><p>Before he can fully sink into it, he can hear the sound of a phone going off and it wont stop. Ricky realizes it’s his girl friends and he picks it up from the side table. </p><p>The name reads ‘Brandon’. He immediately wants to chunk the device across the room. He was a typical frat douche that Nini swore was a friend. Ricky knew what he was, hates him for it. </p><p>Usually he would let the subject alone, ignore her phone when it would be going off, tell himself it was none of his business. </p><p>That instinct is gone today because he’s opening her phone before he can realize what he’s doing  he reads the messages. It’s full of hearts and kisses and things that make his blood boil, he can see that they have plans for tomorrow, that they were gonna meet up and do things left for the sheets.</p><p>Knowing what was happening and actually facing it were two totally different things. It was like looking in the mirror and hating the person you see.</p><p>He spends the next hour reading the messages and hates every minute of it. Continues anyway. </p><p>What pulls him away is Nini when she calls for him and tells him it’s ready, she has the table set and there’s flowers and candles and their dinner’s on the nice silverware that was only used for specialties. </p><p>Ricky sits across from her and thanks her for his dinner, grabs his knife and stabs into the pie. </p><p>After dinner they fuck and all he can see is Brandon and Nini. <br/>It’s a few weeks later and Ricky and Gina are putting his things into boxes. </p><p>There’s a tone of grief in the air and neither one of them address it. Just pack things away and listen to the soft thrum of music. </p><p>The a.c’s out so they’re stripped down to their underwear when they’re finishing up. Sweat sticking to their hair and glazing. </p><p>Gina lays on his floor, the only thing left is his rug and she runs her limbs across it, says she likes the way it feels. </p><p>He lays next to her, places his hands on her stomach and traces her belly button. Gina rolls into him and wraps her legs in his, bites at his jaw and tells him that she’s his. </p><p>Then they’re removing each other’s clothes and she’s tugging at his hair the way she always did, and her thighs are running across his hands and the once silent room is being filled with them and the things they always wanted to tell each other. </p><p>Ricky tells her that he loves her in a way he’s never loved anyone. Tells her that he likes the way she looks in the morning more than skateboarding. And she laughs and tells him to shut the fuck up. </p><p>But then she’s telling him that she wishes she could let go of him. That it would never be possible because Ricky was himself and that was enough for her. She tells him she wishes Ricky would of picked her that summer all those years ago, and even though he didn’t that she was never really mad. That she would always pick him anyways. </p><p>Neither one of them say it but it feels like an ending, and goodbye. Ricky had never said goodbye to Gina. He feels like an idiot. </p><p>He doesn’t want to. </p><p>He can feel her letting go, like she’ slipping through his fingers. </p><p>He holds on tighter and loves her.</p><p>It comes to an end, and they separate. Both out of breath, out of words to speak. </p><p> Gina runs her hands over Ricky like she would those early mornings and he grabs them and holds tight, cringes as she pulls away. </p><p>She breathes out a “bye”, and leaves him on his floor alone. </p><p>Empty.</p>
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